You have broken up and you see pictures of your ex out and about on the town. You feel angry. How dare he be okay and be out with someone else? How dare he just seem to get over you that quickly. How can he have meant all that he said? Does this mean that all he said was fake and he never loved you anyway? Read on to find out whether it’s okay to judge your ex.
Your ex is reacting just like you are and may not want to be ‘sensible’ right now.
We all react in our own unique ways when we break up with someone and just because your ex is not acting in the way that you would, or would like him to, it does not mean that you can judge him. Maybe his way of dealing with the pain is to get drunk or write stupid Facebook statuses but that is how he wants to deal with things. You kind of have to allow him space to do this as criticising him right now is not going to woo him back is it? It will just get his back up even more!
Maybe he wants you to react. He is trying to get your attention.
Maybe he is acting out of character intentionally because he wants you to turn around and question him and react. Perhaps he is hanging out with that one girl you always hated. Don’t you think this could be because he wants to push your buttons? Try not to react and just sit back and watch what he does next.
Your ex is now free to do what he wants
You are not together right now so whatever he wants to do is really up to him. You may still feel like you are his Girlfriend but that does not mean you can act like you are. If he wants to go out until 3am and drink and party and sleep with someone else, then this is his choice. Of course it hurts, and you don’t even want to think about this happening but you have to somehow find a place where you can be strong enough to step back and think one of two things : 1) If he can move on that quickly maybe it was never meant to be or 2) If he hasn’t moved on but is trying to make me jealous, maybe he still cares, and me attacking him may just make things worse.
See your ex as someone in his own right and give him space as this is the only way you stand a chance to get things moving in the right direction but try and do the 30 day no contact rule and give things some space so that you can then come back together and meet in the middle and talk in a months time when all of this raw emotion has been allowed time to settle.
About Clay Andrews
Clay Andrews is a dating and relationship coach who helps women find the right type of man they can create a loving and thriving relationship with. He is the creator of Ex Solution Program- a program that helps couples get back together. To know more about Clay, visit her website below.