May 12, 2016

Why Mind Games Don’t Work in a Relationship

Video Summary

In this video Shana James, a relationship expert reveals why playing mind games don't work in a relationship.

You attract someone to the you that you put out there

If you are being this all together, tough, independent woman because you think that it will impress a man, but it means that you are repressing a lot of your natural feelings, then you are not improving your relationship you are playing a dangerous game.

You see, we attract back to us the person who is most suited to who we are putting out there, and so you will be attracting a person who likes this ‘in control’ you and what happens when you lose control or you need that person to comfort you and they accuse you of losing control when all you are doing is being the real you finally?

Be yourself and have faith that someone out there is looking for THAT you and will love you, whether you are 100% happy or 100% sad.

Being vulnerable is okay

Often, women think that being vulnerable means that they are being weak and they worry that a man will think the same but men love to ‘rescue’ women from time to time and they adore a woman who is feminine, and guess what? Being a little vulnerable is feminine and shows strength not weakness, as you are allowing a man in, to be a man and to see the real you.

Vulnerability can actually create more connection

Being vulnerable can create more connection as a result of letting your guard down and letting another person in. If you are putting up defenses all of the time then you are basically saying keep out, I am not in this just as much as you are. Then you sit back and complain when things are not satisfying you as you hoped?

Let yourself be YOU and let someone else see that you and then you can create a real genuine and lasting connection.

About Shana James

Shana has an M.A. in integral psychology. In addition to coaching women, she has been an ally and confidant to thousands of men who turn to her to understand how women think and what women want. Shana has appeared in panels alongside brilliant teachers such as SARK, Mama Gena, Cheri Huber and Mastin Kipp. She integrates the wisdom of creativity, yoga, meditation, tantra, travel, women’s circles and mothering to help people stay vital and inspired, especially in relationship. Shana lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her amazing son, Ari. To know more about Shana, visit her website




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