In this interview, Karla Downing attempts to answer the question why men fear marriage. Ms. Downing looks to personal experience and talks about how many men fear marriage because of the many, many failed and troubled marriages they see around them. Do men fear marriage because of the high rate of failed marriages amongst their friends and family?
Men Share Stories with other Men
With such a high divorce rate, it’s almost guaranteed that every man has heard at least one horror story of a failed marriage from a friend or other close male in their life. These stories include the difficulty of custody battles, financial ruin and heartache. Men who have heard how awful these experiences have been for their friends and acquaintances and have seen firsthand the difficulties that divorce can bring develop a fear of marriage.
Failed Past Relationships
Most men have experienced failed relationships in the past and this can lead to fear that future relationships are doomed to failure as well. This, of course, leads to fear of marriage because if you take that step and the relationship falls apart there is more to it than simply parting ways.
Men who have experienced their own parents’ divorce often distrust marriage themselves. Ms. Downing points to the example of her nephew whose parents divorced when he was a young adult. A man who otherwise had no reason to fear marriage was suddenly experiencing serious misgivings about the institution.
The divorce rate is so high right now that every man probably knows somebody that has been burned by divorce. Seeing their own parents’ marriages fall apart has shaken many a man’s faith in marriage. Hearing stories of financial loss, custody battles and other divorce fall out has frightened many more men. Often added to this is rocky, past relationships that leave men doubting whether or not marriage is a good idea at all. Men fear marriage because they have seen so much failure around them and they don’t trust in their own abilities to choose a good mate and build a solid relationship.
About Karla Downing
Karla Downing is the author of 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages. Her second book, When Love Hurts: 10 Principles to Transform Difficult Relationships, applies the same principles to all family members. Her third book, The Truth in the Mirror: A Guide to Healthy Self-Image, offers a unique and life-changing approach to looking at self-image. She is the author of several eBooks and hundreds of articles on relationship issues, including LifeWay International articles focused on training women’s ministry leaders to help women struggling in difficult relationships.
She holds a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from Hope International University. Karla also holds a Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts in Communicative Disorders from California State University, Fullerton. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a licensed Speech Language Pathologist. To know more visit her website www.changemyrelationship.com.