Karla Downing attempts to answer why men are so afraid of commitment in this interview for DecodingHim.com. Ms. Downing goes to her husband for answers in an attempt to help women understand this question that has been plaguing them for centuries. So, can Ms. Downing’s husband of 33 years shed any light on this subject?
When men commit to a relationship they go from bachelor pad to domesticity. Suddenly they are asked to clean up after themselves and put their own things away. Gone are the days of leaving dirty towels on the floor or kicking their shoes off in the living room if they feel like it. When you enter into a serious relationship you are looking at becoming domesticated and for many men that is a very scary thing.
Losing their Own Space
Women tend to take over the household. Suddenly it’s her house and a man gets told where things go. He is told to put “his” stuff in a certain place. For many men this is very difficult to handle. The woman is in charge and the man feels he has lost his own space.
Loss of Freedom
When men commit to a relationship there is a sense that they are losing their freedom. Suddenly they are accountable to another person. They fear that they will no longer be able to hang out with their guy friends, flirt at the bar or other things they enjoy doing. In a relationship, men feel they will be expected to ask permission to do the things they’ve always done and the woman will be in a position to say no. In a sense, commitment makes them feel like they are losing come control over their lives.
Men fear commitment because they feel like they have more to lose than women. In a relationship a man is expected to become domesticated. He fears the loss of his own space and being able to have his things where he wants them. Mostly, though, a man fears that he is going to lose control over his life. He will be accountable to another person for approval on everything from how to decorate the home to whether or not he can go to the bar with his buddies.
About Karla Downing
Karla Downing is the author of 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages. Her second book, When Love Hurts: 10 Principles to Transform Difficult Relationships, applies the same principles to all family members. Her third book, The Truth in the Mirror: A Guide to Healthy Self-Image, offers a unique and life-changing approach to looking at self-image. She is the author of several eBooks and hundreds of articles on relationship issues, including LifeWay International articles focused on training women’s ministry leaders to help women struggling in difficult relationships.
She holds a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from Hope International University. Karla also holds a Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts in Communicative Disorders from California State University, Fullerton. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a licensed Speech Language Pathologist. To know more visit her website www.changemyrelationship.com.