In this video Matthew Hussey talks about how to navigate a first date when it comes to deciding who is going to pay, in addition to touching on how to handle the touchy subject on future dates.
Extremes are Bad
The worst thing you can do as a woman is to adopt an extreme. If you always insist on paying or you never pay and never offer to pay both will have consequences in your relationship. You need to find a healthy midpoint because neither one of those extremes work.
How to Handle a First Date
On a first date you should not assume that the guy is going to pay. Even if you are old fashioned and think that he should, you should at least reach for your purse and offer. If you don’t the guy may panic because he knows you will never be more polite than you are on this first date. He may be worried about what future dates with you might look like.
How to Handle Future Dates
When you offer to pay and the guy doesn’t want to let you, don’t continue to argue with him. It can make him feel robbed of his manhood. Graciously accept his offer, and make a fuss over it. Be sure to thank him. He just wants to feel good about being able to do something for you. Furthermore, as you continue on in your relationship, continue to at least offer to pay at intervals and continue making a fuss over his paying. If he is always the one to pay, you should at least offer to pick up the small things or bring him an occasional gift.
Avoid extremes and look for a good middle ground when deciding whether or not you should pay on a date. On the first date you should at the very least make a pretense of reaching for your purse. As the relationship continues, it will really depend on the two of you and your comfort zone. If he does end up paying for most of the dates, you should continue to at least offer and always make a fuss over him paying. If a man wants to do something nice for you, you should let him. It makes him feel good to be able to take care of you.
About Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey, speaker and New York Times Bestselling author, serves as a matchmaker on “Ready for Love,” NBC’s innovative and dramatic new relationship show about making real connections.
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.