In this video Matthew Hussey talks about those moments in life where your expectations don’t match your reality and how devastating it can be. He draws from the move ‘500 Days of Summer’ for examples.
Pain in itself is not an evil
Don’t let anyone tell you that it doesn’t hurt when someone breaks your heart. It will happen to all of us at some point in our love life and it’s okay to feel it. Feeling pain when things don’t go okay means you are human. If you don’t feel pain, you’ve numbed yourself. If you can’t feel pain you also can’t feel pleasure. Your pain means you still have faith that your love life can deliver something extraordinary. It means you are still an optimist.
Pain is a symptom
Your pain is a symptom of something. In’ 500 Days of Summer’, the protagonist is heartbroken when he finds out his love is engaged to someone else. He views her as his soul mate and he may carry this with him forever. He will never see success in his love life and he closes himself off because he believes he has lost the person he is supposed to be with.
Embracing Pain in a Healthy Way
A better, smarter person will look at their pain as disappointment. It is okay to feel pain, but it’s important to see that pain for what it is – disappointment. If you look at it as fundamentally having lost your soul mate, you will struggle to move on. A healthier attitude to adopt is that you have been hurt and disappointed, but you have the strength to move on and find the person that is going to be right for you.
There is a difference between feeling pain when someone hurts you and letting that pain overcome you. Pain is symptom of something, and you can decide what you want that something to be. If you let it be that you have lost your soul mate and failed at love, than you will close yourself off to the possibility of moving on to someone better. However, if you recognize your pain as disappointment, eventually you will be able to heal and find a better person for you.
About Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey, speaker and New York Times Bestselling author, serves as a matchmaker on “Ready for Love,” NBC’s innovative and dramatic new relationship show about making real connections.
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.