In this video, Karla Downing, a license marriage and family therapist talks about the different types of men that fear commitment.
Karla points out that there are some types of men fearing commitment that are fairly obvious to recognize:
First, is the “Player”:
The “Player” is the party guy – the guy that likes to have fun and date a bunch of women at a time. He has no desire to commit, not even in the short term. The Player will use women for their own pleasure but does not really care about them.
Women get involved with the Player as a type of conquest; we feel if we snag this guy – a guy so incredibly good-looking, charming and wonderful, we’ll feel good about ourselves. We will think “I must be sexy”, or “I must be attractive”, and we find the lure of the chase exciting.
Secondly, we have the guy that has a history of long relationships that didn’t end in marriage:
Karla Downing describes the guy that has had MULTIPLE four and five year relationships that didn’t end in marriage as a type of man that fears commitment.
She warns us that we should ask ourselves why he invested that much time in a relationship without getting married, and we should find out why the relationship ultimately ended. She suggests that the relationship likely ended because the woman broke it off after finally realizing the relationship was not leading to marriage.
Third, we have the guy that is older and has never been married:
Karla states that when we are with an older man – like in his fifties, that has never been married, we should wonder what’s going on. Chances are, there is a fear of commitment.
Karla goes on to describe the less common, less obvious kind of men that fear commitment:
A man that is addicted to something or narcissistic… Additions always come first if someone has one. And with narcissism, the person is so self-absorbed and focused on themselves, that they are incapable of focusing on another person.
A man that is incredibly immature… This type of man doesn’t want to commit, he doesn’t want to take care of someone else; to recognize him, you look at his lifestyle, his spending habits, what he does, what choices he makes.
A man that has a character or personality disorder… these mental illnesses are encompass the person, and he can’t commit – he doesn’t have healthy relationship skills.
About Karla Downing
Karla Downing is the author of 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages. Her second book, When Love Hurts: 10 Principles to Transform Difficult Relationships, applies the same principles to all family members. Her third book, The Truth in the Mirror: A Guide to Healthy Self-Image, offers a unique and life-changing approach to looking at self-image. She is the author of several eBooks and hundreds of articles on relationship issues, including LifeWay International articles focused on training women’s ministry leaders to help women struggling in difficult relationships.
She holds a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from Hope International University. Karla also holds a Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts in Communicative Disorders from California State University, Fullerton. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a licensed Speech Language Pathologist. To know more visit her website www.changemyrelationship.com.