In this video, Brad Browning, a relationship coach who specializes in breakups, addresses a common mistake that many people make after a break – and that is wasting so much time thinking about their ex.
What’s the point of stalking your ex?
It's a natural instinct to want to know what your ex is up to. And nowadays it’s so easy to have access to your ex’s life even if you’re supposed to be out of it because of social media. But what good does it really do for you?
When you ask mutual friends if he’s dating someone new, what use do you really have for that information except to torture yourself? Knowing that he’s out with new people and enjoying himself will not help you get him back. What will you do with the information that he’s doing fun activities with other single women? Nothing useful, actually.
Why read too much into his words?
Similarly, if there were bitter parting words between you and your ex during the breakup, it’s futile to nit-pick on that. He might have said something to you that seemed so final – like maybe, “I don’t think we’re compatible enough” – but it should not bother you, even if you do want to get back together.
The thing is, you and your ex may still have a chance of getting back together regardless of the logical reasons he came up with to rationalize the breakup. That’s because those reasons are often either lies or merely partial truths.
How should you deal with the breakup?
Instead of focusing your time and energy stalking your ex or mulling over his parting words, you can use the time to do something productive for yourself. At some point in the near future, what you do now will massively increase your chances of getting back together with him.
For instance, your ex may be doing fun activities – organize your own too. This will make for a great conversation piece when you start to re-build his attraction for you a little later on.
The bottom line here is this: focus on yourself. You don’t have a hold over what your ex does or says or thinks – you only have control over what you can do. The best use for this time is to ignore everything else and just do the things that will actually help your cause. Everything else will follow.
About Brad Browning
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. For the past decade, Brad has worked with thousands of men and women around the world, helping to reverse breakups and mend broken relationships.
Brad is author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide program, which teaches readers how to get their ex back. He also offers personal coaching to a limited number of clients, guiding them through the process of winning back an ex or recovering from a difficult breakup.