Lying is a part of everyday life. According to polygraph expert Leonard Saxe, “We couldn’t get through the day without being deceptive”. We might lie for a number of reasons – to protect ourselves, our interests, our image and our resources, and we also might lie to protect the feelings of others in the telling of a white lie. Lying by omission is just the same as lying – although a partial truth may have been told, the intent to deceive someone else is exactly the same.
There are a number of common lies that men might say in relationships, and although many of them are harmless, some have the potential to destroy a relationship if they get out of hand. Outlined below are a number of common lies that men tell in relationships and what they mean.
Lies to Present Them in the Best Light
These lies are common right at the very start of a relationship when a man is trying to impress his partner. He might tell his partner that he is next in line for a promotion at work, or he might inflate his salary in an effort to impress. He may tell lies about whether or not he rents or pays mortgage on his home, or he might lie about the cost of his car.
Men often lie about material items in an effort to make themselves seem superior to their peers, and although this can impress in the beginning of a relationship, if the lies continue throughout the relationship they could cause serious problems. A man who is not honest about his possessions, or about his working life – and who cannot admit to failure, may not be open to admitting his failures if the relationship starts to hit problems.
Lies to Make a Woman Fall in Love
These lies are common lies throughout a relationship – and they are not necessarily harmful. Men might tell their partner that they love their friends – despite feeling irritation whenever they meet. They might compliment their partner on their cooking, style, looks or home-making and they may inflate their compliment in an effort to flatter their partner.
These types of lies are fairly harmless in that they are not told maliciously – but if these lies are told maliciously, in that they are told to cover up actual feelings, it could cause lots of problems later on. For example, if a man tells his partner that he values his work but he actually has no interest in it, this could cause a number of problems later on.
Lies about Sex
Sex is an area where everyone is vulnerable – we are at our most open when we are with a new partner. Some men may lie to their partner about their lovemaking skills – this is another lie wherein it isn’t told maliciously, but it could cause problems later on in that if a man consistently lies to their partner about their lovemaking skills, they will feel unable to bring up the subject later.
Some men will also lie about the number of sexual partners they have had in the past – some might minimize the number to make them seem more trustworthy, while others may inflate the number to make them appear more “manly”. If a man lies about the number of his sexual partners, it shouldn’t really cause any problems within the relationship, unless the partner has personal reservations about how many sexual partners is “acceptable”. However, if a man lies about whether or not he has cheated on a partner in the past, it could indicate that they have an untrustworthy character.
Lies about Where They Are
Some men will often tell their partners lies about their whereabouts. Perhaps they’ve stopped in at the bar for a drink on the way home from work, and they say that they are in the car driving home from the office. Sometimes, these lies are fairly harmless – after all, there is no harmful intent. However, if a man tells his partner that he is out with his male friends but is instead catching up with a female friend, the lie has the potential to cause a row between partners.
In this situation, it’s better to be honest – after all, if it is a platonic relationship, there should be no need to lie about spending time together. Lies like “I won’t be able to call you later. I don’t know where I will be” or “My phone is running out of battery so I’ll just see you when I get home” are the type of lies that men tell when they are falling out of love with their partner, or when they are having an affair that they want to cover up. In this case, the truth will come out eventually – although this may be months or even years after the initial lie.
Lies to Protect Their Partner from Worry
Men often view themselves as the breadwinner of a household or as a sort of “caregiver” to their partner. If something occurs in their life that threatens this position, such as their company downsizing or them being fired, men can often lie to their spouses in order to protect them from worrying. Many men will still pretend to go to work day after day after being fired to protect their partners from worrying. Although these lies are designed to protect, the longer and longer the lies go on for, the harder they are to get out of.
Lies to Stop Nagging
Ever heard the line “My back hurts – I’ll vacuum the carpets tomorrow”, or “I’ve got a cut on my hand so I can’t do the washing up”? These lies are very common lies told by men in an effort to stop their partner from nagging them to do chores or activities that they find unpleasant or that they don’t have time for.
If these lies are occasional – and the man eventually gets round to doing what they tried to get out of – there isn’t really a problem. However, if these lies occur again and again, the woman may need to look at why their partner doesn’t seem to be willing to help them.