In this video Brad Browning, a relationship coach shares his advice on how to talk to your ex on the phone.
First, there is nothing wrong with phoning your ex, in fact it could possibly help you win him back.
In this video, Brad recommends text messaging, if you are looking to win your ex back, especially if the two of you used to text a lot. This should be done only for the first few conversations. Keeping this in mind, there may be substantial benefits to actually getting your ex on the phone. Your voice may bring back memories, and talking is a more intimate way of conversing with your ex. Always make sure you know exactly what you are going to say before picking up your phone and calling your ex.
Keep all initial conversations short and to the point.
1-2 minutes, while it seems like a short amount of time, is ideal. Also, it is best if you are the one who ends the phone conversation. After the first minute or two, come up with some sort of viable excuse as to why you need to end the conversation. End the conversation letting your ex know maybe the two of you can catch up another time.
If you actually desire a longer phone conversation, leave the door open for you ex to call you back at a later time. An example of this would be to say, “I will be more available this weekend, give me a shout.” This will let him know that you are interested and willing in talking more in the future. This is totally optional and up to you.
What is not optional is the nature of the phone conversation.
When phoning you ex, you should maintain a casual, upbeat, friendly conversation going. You do not want to sound depressed, or needy. Your ex needs for you to think you are doing fine without him, and that you don’t need him anymore. Think is the operative word. This doesn’t necessarily mean it is true, but it is what he needs to think.
No serious topics should be brought up during the course of this phone conversation. There should absolutely be no talk about getting back together in these first few short conversations.
If he tries to bring up the topic of getting back together, divert the conversation away from this subject as quickly, and polite as possible.
If you call your ex, and he doesn’t pick up the phone, do not overthink the matter or stress out.
Remember he has a life to live as well. Leaving a voicemail can be a great option, especially so in the case of the first contact after the, “No Contact Period.” Keep the voicemail short, keep your voice calm, and steady so you don’t come across as nervous and anxious. Say something quick, but thoughtful. A good idea of this would be, “Hey, your favorite t-shirt store downtown is having a huge sale, and I thought you may want to know, since you love that store, but hate the expensive prices. So anyway, I hope all is well.” Making sure you are prepared ahead of time will prevent you leaving a disastrous voicemail in the event he doesn’t answer the phone.
Just a quick, thoughtful phone conversation, or voicemail such as this will get your ex to start thinking about you.
Remember, this is the initial contact after the “No Contact Period” so it needs to be kept upbeat, calm, and cheerful. No serious discussions or attempts at serious discussions should be held at this point.
The goal of this is simply to get your ex thinking about you, how much fun it is to do things with you, and start rebuilding some attraction. This is a good starting point to getting your ex back.
If your ex decides to call you before you call him, this same strategy can be used, Always be prepared for what you are going to say, either way it goes, and remember, keep it light, cheerful and friendly.
About Brad Browning
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. For the past decade, Brad has worked with thousands of men and women around the world, helping to reverse breakups and mend broken relationships.
Brad is author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide program, which teaches readers how to get their ex back. He also offers personal coaching to a limited number of clients, guiding them through the process of winning back an ex or recovering from a difficult breakup.