In this video Allana Pratt applies her parenting classes to dating fear
The Science Behind Fear
When a child is in fight or flight mode they are in their lower brain. They have no access to empathy, humor, problem solving, or reasoning. They go into their higher brain when they feel heard and listened to by their parent. This same science of the brain can be applied to dating. When we are in fear we are in our lower brain and don’t have access to our own awareness.
Being in Fear
You’re not broken. You’re not a loser. You are just in your lower brain. You lose access to your empathy, kindness, humor and all the things that might make a date go well. In order to have a good date, you need to get rid of your fear. This is easier said than done, however! You want to make a good impression and you want the person to like you. You are afraid to have a bad experience, afraid of rejection, or afraid you might not be enough.
Moving out of Fear
Accessing your higher brain is very similar to how you might bring a child out of fear. Brain science tells us that there proven ways to do this. First, accept how you are feeling. By accepting your fear you can begin to shift it. Give yourself the time and attention that is required. Listen to yourself. It’s okay to be nervous. Let it be okay. Appreciate that part of yourself. You are nervous because you want a relationship, so appreciate how amazing and courageous you are. Give yourself affection. Hug yourself in the bathroom. Place your palms on your thighs under the table. Just as you hug your children to help them feel better, give yourself affection to calm yourself down. When you start to feel better you will be able to connect to your higher brain.
Brain science shows that when we are afraid we go into our lower brain and lose access to our more complex emotions. However, if you can move out of this place of fear and access your higher brain you will be able to have a better date. You will have access to who you really are – your humor, kindness, empathy and reasoning. Accept your fear, listen to yourself, and learn to comfort yourself the same way you might comfort your child. Feeling better will allow you to access your higher brain and be the best version of yourself.
About Allana Pratt
Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt inspires open hearted living, with delicious sass. Featured on CBS, TLC & FOX, this cum laude graduate of Columbia University is the Author of 3 books. She’s a coach to celebrities is and the Host of the sexy empowering show “Intimate Conversations LIVE”.
After working with thousands of men and women who struggle to open their hearts again in the aftermath of a harsh breakup, Allana helps them learn how to date again and find lasting love. She inspires women to embrace their sacred erotic nature to attract all the love and attention they can handle. She heals men’s emasculated hearts, cures their ‘nice guy’, and awakens their ‘noble badass’ so they can create hot, healthy intimate relationships. To know more about Allana, visit her website below.