In this video for Digital Romance TV, relationship specialists Mike Fiore and Nora Blake dig into the effects of giving a man an ultimatum and what you should do instead to make him yours.
So there’s this guy that you really like and you believe you two have something special going on. The only problem is he won’t commit. What should you do? Should you give him an ultimatum? The short and blunt answer is: no, absolutely not.
Ultimatums never work.
There are few instances wherein a woman gives a man an ultimatum and he does agree to commit but often it doesn’t last. Nobody wants to be in a relationship that they feel tricked into and trapped in.
So even if giving a man an ultimatum makes him agree to stay with you, it wouldn’t be the kind of relationship that you want. It would be difficult to live with the thought that the only reason you are having a relationship was because you forced him into it – and not because he wants to be in it.
If he won’t commit, then move on.
Real commitment means that both of you want and choose to be in the relationship. So if he doesn’t want to commit, then you need to move on. And that’s not an ultimatum, that’s a plain and simple fact.
You are not saying to him that if he won’t put a ring on your finger, then you will find somebody else. You just tell him that if he could not give you what you want – which is commitment – then you need to try and find it somewhere else. That’s not a threat and there’s no drama.
But – and this is very important – you need to follow through with it. When you say this to him, you should be at that point where you are completely done with this person because he is just not interested in you. You owe this to yourself.
He might want to commit. Or not.
It’s not a ploy and you are not playing games here. By acting on what you said, he will be forced to ask himself if he really wants you to be his or not. And he could decide either way and you should accept that.
Don’t expect him to come chasing after you or hate him if he doesn’t. If he wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll find a way. Just remember that committed people will stay committed because they want to be.
About Michael Fiore
Michael Fiore is a relationship expert and has helped millions of women across the world have better relationships and Nora is his co-host.