In this video Matthew Hussey, a dating coach shares his advice on what to do when a guy ghosts you.
Ghosting is the process when a guy has been calling you, texting you, dating you and then all of a sudden he just stops.
No warning, no reason, he just stops, and it leaves you wondering what you may have done wrong. The fact is it may not have been you at all, maybe he was unhappy with something within himself.
If he does this, do not psychoanalyze it. Don’t talk about it all the time. It is just a waste of your time and energy, because this is not something you can control. It is important to grasp on to the things you can fix and the things you are just wasting time on. You simply can’t control being “ghosted.” You need to realize you may never know why this guy just seemingly disappeared.
There are parts of the ghosting situation you can’t control, but the good news is, there are parts you can control.
This is where you proactively look into a mirror and ask yourself if there is anything you need to learn about this ghosting situation. Maybe I was going to fast for him, and investing to much into this relationship to quickly.
Ask yourself, “Is there a side of me I never showed him? Do I need to be doing more of something?”
While we are often very judgmental to others, how often do we really take a long hard look within ourselves to find our flaws? Sometimes there are things we do that actually contribute to the ghosting situation. Getting a sheet of paper and a pen, and writing down what you want out of your guy, check to make sure you are giving what you are asking for.
Self analysis will help you when you decide to get out there and try again.
If you never ask yourself, “What could I have done differently?” a relationship may never fully go. Self criticism can be a useful tool, if you choose to utilize it. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have done something wrong or that it is your fault by any means, but following through with your self analysis may be more helpful than you think.
What is important here is stop trying to get answers from the guy who ghosted you. You are only wasting a tremendous amount of time and energy, and while you are trying to figure that out, you could improve upon yourself, and date someone new.
Remember, if you start to date again, use whatever you want to get back from him in return, such as: Comfort, charisma, caring, all the positive things you want. Chances are pretty good that he will be looking for the same.
About Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey, speaker and New York Times Bestselling author, serves as a matchmaker on “Ready for Love,” NBC’s innovative and dramatic new relationship show about making real connections.
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.