In this video Matthew Hussey talks about shyness. Being shy is okay, but acting shy is not okay. People use it as an excuse.
People Don’t Know You’re Shy
Being shy is okay, but acting shy is not. Many people use it as an excuse to give one word answers or not to contribute in any way. A common trait of people who are shy is that they think everyone else is aware of their shyness. Instead, people perceive you as being cold, uninterested or boring.
Being Shy is Being Scared
Saying you’re shy is a pleasant way of saying you’re scared. People use it as an excuse not to cultivate the skills of the extrovert. Introverts say it’s just who they are, but if you want to be the most well-rounded person you can be you need to have some of the skills of extroverts. That doesn’t mean you have to live it 24/7, but you should be able to do both. You can at some time be an extrovert.
Being Shy is Okay, Acting Shy is Not
Introverts are naturally introverts. However, clinging to this is not good for your strength of character. Life is not black and white, and you don’t have to be one way all the time. Give the gift to yourself of cultivating the skills of the extrovert. That doesn’t mean you have to be that way all the time, but you should be able to turn it on when you need to.
If you are an introvert, you may think that that is who you are and there is nothing you can do about it. This type of thinking will never allow you to cultivate the skills of an extrovert. You can learn to come out of your shell by getting control of your fear. Acting shy is different from being shy. If you act shy all the time people will not assume you are shy; they will assume you are cold, uninterested or boring. You need to learn to contribute and be an extrovert at least some of the time.
About Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey, speaker and New York Times Bestselling author, serves as a matchmaker on “Ready for Love,” NBC’s innovative and dramatic new relationship show about making real connections.
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.