Brad Browning, a relationship coach explains the first step of getting back with your ex.
The first step is one or the other wanting to be “just friends.”
While this may seem like a good idea at the time, Brad actually suggests that saying No to this is the best course of action.
The reason for this is because there could potentially be some unresolved issues, which he states could be anger, sadness and heartache. This may actually cause the reconnection to fail completely. Waiting a while on even trying a friendship is the best way to move to the “friend zone.” Being together to much, to soon may do more harm than good.
Secondly, being friends to soon may put one in the awkward position of hearing about his current relationship problems.
Let’s face it. None of us want to be in a position of hearing about your ex having problems with his current partner.
The third reason is that there should be a complete separation before attempting to repair your broken relationship.
If you are constantly hanging out together, emotional healing may not be possible, which would hinder the process of repairing the broken relationship. If you make yourself completely unavailable it may cause your partner to miss you. Ladies, you want your partner to miss you, and if you are constantly hanging out that cannot happen.
The fourth and final reason to saying no to friendship is that you could potentially end up being your ex partners rebound or back up plan with his current relationship.
I can’t see where anyone would ever want to play second fiddle.
No Contact Strategy
If you do happen to cross paths in a social, or work setting, keep your emotions in balance. You don’t want your ex seeing you unhappy or depressed, as this may give him the upper hand in the reconnection. You need to be on equal ground if you are ever going to repair your broken relationship. Keep any interactions brief and on your own terms. Small talk seems to be the best. Talk about the weather, sports or anything except emotions, feelings or the relationship.
You’ve already tried
If you have already tried to get back with your ex, now would be a good time to stop. You can’t undo what you may have already done, in regards to getting your partner back. From this point, stop. Send an email apologizing to clean the slate. You will come across to him as to desperate, or eager. Remember ladies, time and space will make him miss you much more. Don’t make yourself to available, because in doing so, it does not give him time to miss you.
Your Ex Is Confusing You
Remember ladies, you aren’t the only one who has been hurt. Avoiding emotional conversations is best for both of you at this point. Engaging in an emotional conflict will serve to further damage your hopes of a reconciliation. Often times, we lash out in anger, and say very hurtful things. It is best to avoid this type of situation. And remember sometimes you will get mixed signals from your partner. This may be a good thing. Keep an open mind. Your former partner is just as confused and hurt as you are. Space and time are always the best options when trying to reconcile.
Chances are you will fall into one of these categories at some point or the other. The main thing to do is to put a little time and space between you and your former partner. If you happen to cross paths, keep the conversation light, and end it politely as soon as possible.
About Brad Browning
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. For the past decade, Brad has worked with thousands of men and women around the world, helping to reverse breakups and mend broken relationships.
Brad is author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide program, which teaches readers how to get their ex back. He also offers personal coaching to a limited number of clients, guiding them through the process of winning back an ex or recovering from a difficult breakup.